Gi'us a Job

I walked into my local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said "Hello, I'm lookin' for a job".

The man behind the counter replied "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, uniform provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is £200,000 a year."

I said "Nah, you're bullshitting me!"

The man behind the counter said "Well you fu*kin' started it!"