Nipped in the Bud

Today's smile is courtesy of Will.

So this guy aged about 38 went to the doctor and asked for help.

"What is the nature of your problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm too embarrassed to ask" said the guy. Well the doctor explained that he had seen and done everything and encouraged the chap to tell all. "After all "....he said "I am a doctor"

The guy opened up and told the doc his problem. "Doctor I'm in my late thirties and I have never been out with a girl let alone had sexual relations, and I'm a bit worried about that side of things. Can I ask a few intimate questions?" "Sure" said the doc, you fire away.

The guy took a deep breath. "Could you tell me what a womans... private place looks like before sex??"

The doctor was a bit taken aback but smiled and thought for a minute before going on to say..."

Close your eyes and imagine a misty morning in May as the sun lifts it's head boldly above the distant horizon. You see, then feel the first warm rays hurtle across the pink dawn sky and these rays alight on a rose bud, pale peach in colour, waiting to burst forth in all its glory later in the day. Bend down, the doctor continued, and look at that tiny rosebud. There in the folds that will later turn into a beautiful flower is a dew drop. Smell that dew drop. Inhale it's sweet aroma. Breath it, for it is just like the very finest Champagne.

THAT is what a womans private place is like before sex!"

"Blimey Doc", said the man, you make it sound like poetry, but can I ask another question?"

"Go ahead by all means" said the doc.

"Could you tell me what a woman's private place is like after sex?"

The doctor thought for a moment and said...

"Have you ever seen a Bulldog eating porridge?"