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Welcome to "Hyde" the Darker Side >> Text Jokes >> General Humour >> Stella Awards Today's smile is courtesy of Colin H.
The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards.
In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $2.9 million U.S. in damages to 81-year-old
Stella Liebeck who suffered third-degree burns to her legs, groin and buttocks
after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee on herself.
This case inspired an annual award - The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous
lawsuit in the U.S. The ones listed below are clear candidates. All these
cases are verging on the outright ridiculous and yet (in the good old USA) with
the right attorney you could win anything!
January 2000:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers
after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a
furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the
verdict, considering the misbehaving little bastard was Ms. Robertson's own son.
June 1998:
A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when
his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't
notice there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to steal
his neighbor's hubcaps.
October 1998:
A Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door
to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't
re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when
he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself
locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found,
and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the
situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half
a million dollars.
October 1999:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses
after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The
beagle was on a chain in it's owner's fenced-in yard. The award was less than
sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at
the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
May 2000:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx.
The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30
seconds earlier during an argument.
December 1997:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in
a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and
knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to
sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
And the winner is:
Mr Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City. In November 2000 Mr Grazinski purchased a
brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having joined
the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers
seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the
Winnie left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr Grazinski sued Winnebago
for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was
awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnie. (Winniebago actually changed their
handbooks on the back of this court case)
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