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FEUDALISM: You have two cows - the lord of the manor takes some of the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows - You and your neighbours take care of all the cows and share all the milk equally.

APPLIED COMMUNISM: You have two cows - You take care of them and the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

NIGERIAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots you and sends the cows to Switzerland.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government jails you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in your apartment.

BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government says there is nothing to worry about, but eventually promises to launch an enquiry, although there may not be time for it in this parliamentary session.

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (But do not own, as the concept is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government pays you to take harmonica lessons.