What's The Difference?

Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A: You know she'll swallow.

Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
A: She knows she's given her last blow job.

Q: What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?
A: When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Q: What do you get if you cross a Hell's Angel with a Jehovah's Witness?
A: Some one who knocks on your door on a Sunday morning and tells YOU to fuck off!

Q: Who is the most popular man at the Nudist Colony?
A: The man who can carry two cups of coffee and 12 donuts.

Q: Who is the most popular woman at the Nudist Colony?
A: The woman who can eat the last two donuts.......

Q: A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
A: Dating children.

Q: How do you make and orphans hands bleed?
A: Tell her to clap handies until daddy comes home.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A: The grip.

Q: What happened to Jesus when he went to Mount Olive?
A: Popeye kicked the shit out of him.

Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: What's brown and often found in children's underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to pop your bone in.

Q: How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you
lose your house.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim are already in America.

Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A: They can both smell it but can't eat it.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

Q: Why do hookers make more money than drug dealers?
A: A hooker can can clean her crack and sell it again.

Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
A: Put a nipple on it.

Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak

Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes

Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment.

Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute.

Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is humping her.

Q: How are women and rocks alike?
A: You skip across the flat ones.

Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.

Q: What would you call a lesbian with thick fingers?
A: Well-hung.

Q: What's the difference between a woman with her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: What's the difference between a '90's woman and a computer?
A '90's woman won't accept a three and a half inch floppy.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: What's the definition of the perfect male lover?
A: He makes love until 2 a.m. then turns into chocolate.

Q: How do Greeks separate the men from the boys?
A: With a crowbar.

Q: Why do most men prefer women with big tits and tight chuffs?
A: Because most men have big mouths and small dicks.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: When you lay a brick, it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

Q: Why did cavemen pull their women around by the hair?
A: Because if they pulled them around by their feet, they'd fill up with mud.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow.

Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: What's the difference between Hard and Light?
A: You can go to sleep with a light on.

Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

Q: Why do Greek men wear gold neckchains?
A: So they know where to stop shaving.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q: Why don't men fake orgasm?
A: Cos no man would pull those faces on purpose.