Redneck Test

You mightin' be a Redneck if...

...the Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
...you let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
...you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
...you think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
...Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."
...you wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
...you think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
...your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
...your junior prom had a daycare.
...the bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
...you have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
...you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
...you can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
...you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
...your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
...if you think your license plate is personalized because your father made it for you.
...if your father walks you to school because he's in the same grade.
...if your family tree does not branch.