Lippy

A man gets onto a plane and is stunned to find a parrot strapped into the seat next to him. The plane takes off and the stewardesses start to do their rounds.

"I'd like a cup of coffee please" says the man to the stewardess when she comes over to take his order. "And get me a whiskey you ugly old cow" squawks the parrot. The man is shocked and the stewardess hurries off all flustered. She comes back almost immediately with the parrot's whiskey but is so flustered that she forgets the man's coffee.

Five minutes later the man still doesn't have his coffee so he calls the stewardess over again. "Can I please have a cup of coffee ?" he asks for the second time. "And get me a whiskey, a double this time you fucking bitch" the parrot squawks at the stewardess. This time the stewardess bursts into tears and rushes off to get the whiskey, again forgetting the man's cup of coffee.

Another five minutes goes by and the man still hasn't got his cup of coffee so he decides to take a leaf out of the parrots book. He calls the stewardess over. "A cup of coffee and make it quick you slag otherwise I'll kick your arse".

The next thing you know the two male stewards come over and open the emergency exit, throwing the man and the parrot out of the plane.

As the two of them start to plunge towards the ground the parrot turns towards the man and squawks "You're a bit fucking lippy for someone who can't fly !!"