01. Won't be hanging him by the balls. 02. The Elves couldn't be arsed. 03. Never suck the yellow ones. 04. Rudolph couldn't wait for Christmas to come round again. 05. Sticks and Stones... But a shotgun... 06. As a multi-drop driver Santa wasn't required to wear a belt. 07. You know you've been bad when... 08. It was the re-fried beans that particularly put him off. 09. Santa now fully understood inertia. 10. Dear Kim and Aggie... 11. Please don't ask me about where they have to sit.